Hilarious clip of a prank gone wrong on a train

My Last Xmas.

  Yup. You read it correctly. This will be the last year I celebrate xmas. For me, it's not a matter or religion or beliefs. It's not a matter of money. It's not even a matter of giving...I do plenty of that already. It's just silly, and I'm going to tell you why.

  First and foremost, religion. Most people have forgotten the true religious meaning behind xmas. Hell, most children now aren't raised to understand it. They are raised to believe a fictional chubby man named Santa slides down their chimney and leaves them gifts. They are even manipulated to believe that if they aren't well behaved throughout the year, they wont receive gifts. So essentially, lie upon lie.

  Greed. And this is a 2 part blame game....Not only has it become a holiday of "wants", but it seems as though everyone tries to set the bar a little higher each year. If a child's parents cant afford the "in" gifts for their children, the children are embarrassed and at times ridiculed by their friends, causing depression, social issues, and other mental health problems.
  The parents themselves are effected by raising their kids with these ideas. As the kids grow older, they are taught to make "wish lists", with the idea that they will get the items on the list. This actually backfires on the parent that is unable to complete the list financially, and sets the parent up to stress unnecessarily before the holiday.
  The second part of this falls on the heads of all the corporations out there trying to make a buck. Advertisements of all types start months before the holiday. I dont think there is a reason to list the culprits here, as they are everywhere you look. Smells of pumpkin spice and xmas jingles are bored into your head like an auger. Then the people bitching about it being to early to start the holiday start, and they can be even more annoying.
  Companies have even spawned not one, but more recently two holidays in conjunction with xmas. Black Friday and Cyber Monday. In case Black Friday is confusing to anyone, it is meant to describe a time when financial ledgers were kept. If the numbers were in the red, they weren't making money; in black and they were making money and looking forward to stay in business for another year. Do I really need to explain the horrors of Black Friday shopping?
  Short paragraph....Xmas in July. As if we dont get enough misery the last 2 months of the year .

  Family. Wow, I cant even believe I am writing this, but it probably is the worst part about xmas. The people you are supposed to care about create the most horrible issues at this time of year. Older parents pulling young families in one direction to be with them on the holiday... Sibling rivalries. In-laws....and separated parents fighting over who get the children for that special day. So much stress is created over where to be and driving conditions and dividing time. It's no wonder that more people argue over the holiday.

Another major pet peeve I have with this holiday is one simple question...."What do you want for xmas?" This question has perplexed me for many years, and I could never quite put my finger on it until now. Why in the hell would you ever have to ask someone that question if you knew them? I mean to say, if you spend even a little amount of time with someone throughout the year, it should be easy to find out their likes, needs and wants. My parents are especially guilty of this and it really pisses me off. They refuse to spend time with my children throughout the year, and then expect me to tell them what the kids would want. So basically they are saying that they want to be nice to my children, but only on one day a year.
  And why would you only want to spend time with people only once a year? To me, that's very similar to going to a funeral of someone you met in line at a gas station a long time ago....You never really got to know them, but they seemed like a really nice guy....

  Excessive lighting bills. Tree fires. Weight gain. Higher than normal suicide rate. People stealing packages from porches. Fights in stores over the last toy. People shooting people over a parking spot. People in tents waiting to be the first in when the doors open....Sounds more like a horror story than a peaceful holiday celebrating the birth of a saviour.

  So yeah, this will be my last year celebrating xmas. I'll see it through, mainly because the gifts are already wrapped and paid for, and the cookies are already made....but then, I'm out. Just like I would be if we were discussing someone constantly pissing me off; I would separate myself from that situation so quick you would only see a dust trail.

  A little side note for anyone who kind of feels this way, but not really ready to quit yet......Make your own gifts. Spend time with people. Do nice things for them throughout the year. Try to get away from the commercialized aspect and more towards the true meaning.

And water the tree.

The Elf's best life photo album

The Elf's best life photo album 

This little prankster out living his best life, Check out the elf's album of 2019 

Little Prankster you almost got me 

Spicing up the relationship 

Always playing pranks or mischief this little guy drew all over the kids, Why though? bet they wont want any more stories from the elf 

Hard at work, providing for himself and coming up with new Ideas 

Elfs gone wild special edition 

Fishing around, coming up with some new ideas

Don't knock the side hustle 

you have to have some fun at work 

Party time elf just out having a good time, stopped at the club had some drinks gonna wind down after along night. 

BI 

Making it rain

Netflix and chilling bringing the night to a close

No explanation

Pre party drinks

The end is near 

Boy did that piss him off, shouldn't be playing with knifes

Me and Chucky collecting some money from a previous deal 

Erased from time 

After the finger incident, the human thought it was time for payback

Taking care of the booty 

Droppings for the soul 

thinking time away from the kids 

decided some injections would help with my flat booty. 

"Safe spaces"

I think anytime i hear some asshole talk about 'safe spaces' my biggest confusion is what they honestly got against people feeling safe. And I think the answer is, these people don't know how to live life without fear. They grew up afraid of parents and adults ( teachers, preachers ect) and they live a life with that fear as their foundation. They were raised in fear and they raised their children with fear. They think fear equals respect, fear equals authority. Might makes right attitude. You're not going to convince someone with decades of using that logic that it is wrong because they are actually terrified to think about those things,they will refuse to think about it so resort to dismissal and deflection.

The same generation that refer to God and their relationship to it as "god-fearing'  don't describe God as someone who has a capacity of forgiveness and goodness and tolerance and joy they describe God as someone or something you fear. They spread that fear like a virus. They don't like the concept of "safe spaces" because it's a direct attack to the core of their belief system: that the only way to be strong and powerful is through using that fear through violence and controlling others with fear is fundamentally how the entire world still functions.

The "boomer" generation and to a degree tbh the generation after them still needs to feel stronger than others that are incapable of "hacking it" because to them that means they are stronger than the fear they constantly feel, and they are vindicated when they can "hack" it but they see that others find themselves "weak" against the fear. What does being weak mean? Asking for help, questioning the morality of mistreatments to certain people, demanding fairness where there was none before, all of these are things a "weak" person does. Because they have convinced themselves that strength means surviving these obstacles rather than what strength really is, which is standing up to these obstacles.

Fear saw your fellow man that was once a slave or born from a slave drinking from a white only fountain and and fear said " That makes sense, cause they should be thankful they get to be free, freedom is what makes America what we are, they should be grateful for the right to drink our water even if it's not from the same fountain, good reason, they're still the savage type, we don't belong together, "like that" " . Fear accepts authority even when authority is wrong.  The nation gives authority and the fearful submits to it. Bravery stands up to that fear and says fuck your white only fountain, imma drink from that fountain. There will be never justice in this one topic until the last white man gets the absolutely asinine notion that p.o.c should be 'grateful' for what they 'allowed' them to have. That same mentality has targeted other demographics besides p.o.c its also targeted , disabled, mentally ill, LGBT, and women.

Truthfully these " safe space" cynics are a really lost cause.  They can't see or understand what you are trying to explain to them when you try to discuss certain topics because they fear what it means to do so and they know their limitations. They know they aren't strong enough to accept the truth. The truth is that fear is used to control people and they are the very people it's controlled and they have lived their life bound by that fear.

Imagine realizing you spent 60+ years living a life according to choices you made rooted in fear. You would realize your life has been a morally devastating mistake. That's a self-awareness most people wouldn't want to face. It takes way too much accountability. Accountability is something you have to be brave to do and these types don't deal with fear using bravery, they submit to it. Its the worse kind of irony. They think they are the strong ones because perhaps they have had to survive or kill in this world, all for some man-made cause usually involving war but they will never understand the only truly strong ones are those that have learned that you can't scare respect out of people, you can't Stockholm's syndrome love out people, you can't kill or torture or destroy everything and consider it "problem solved". These people have suppressed every emotion in them except self-love and fear and eventually, that turns to anger as they get older. And not for nothing but Yoda wasn't wrong the shit leads to suffering, usually that suffering happens to people around them but it leads to their suffering in its own way, they just put alcohol and self-vindication on top of it and call it strength.

Well, it happened again. Put into FB jail. I get cut off everyday now.....usually that only happens with bartenders. What gets me, is that they go after the wrong people and persecute the wrong people. When you join a group on FB, you are asked questions. Apparently, there are a lot of idiots out there who join groups then complain and report. And.....don't know how to un-join the group lmao. This is just a short blog. Not worth reading really lol. Thanks Adam for the opportunity. Until I get mad again....Janet

live.

I have lived long enough to realize that there is a challenge to living. That challenge is complicated. If we were able to function completely alone, which we are not, it would be easy. Humans are extremely social creatures and depend on the company of others for their our own survival. This is where things become complicated....
   People are opinionated. That is never going to change. The degree to which they are opinionated is what effects you as an individual the most. How they handle your opinions comes in close second.
  I would just like to say that I am not a doctor nor do I have a PHD. I've never studied psychology and I have never read anything written by Freud. I am not an expert on anything.....anything except for me. It took me years of mistakes to learn what I am about to share with you.
  1. Believe and let believe. Believe in yourself. Believe in your abilities. Believe in what ever faith makes you feel good. Allow others to do the same without ridicule.
  2. Live and let live. Live your life the way you want. Put beer on your cereal if it tastes good to you. Shave your head. Go commando. Allow others to do the same without ridicule.
  3. Do and let do. Do everything that crosses your mind. Do everything once. Challenge yourself. Do what you want, when you can. Allow others to do the same without ridicule.
  4. Be and let be. Be who you want. Become your own hero. Be someone who makes you smile when you look in the mirror. Be someone that you are proud of. Allow others to do the same without ridicule.

  Never Judge.

Only have an opinion about opinionated people. Remove only those from your life who refuse to allow you the respect to become who you were supposed to be. And if in the end you are alone, you just might find that you are happy with yourself.
 

Meet my dysfunctional Wookie family. Series

Welcome to the most disturbing and dysfunctional Wookie family you'll ever meet. Yes, I said Wookie. Let me tell you a bit about my family.

My name is Eunice. I was married to my 3rd cousin Egbert and we have 5 wookie kids all in their 20's. A set of triplet girls and 2 boys. My beloved husband was lost at sea while deep-sea fishing somewhere around the Galápagos islands. I moved in with my twin brother Abner and his very unusual 4 boys. They are also in their 20's. (We always breed at the same time.) 2 set's of twins. One set was conjoined but I'll get into that another time. 

My twin brother Abner aka Rocky Rock hard "brainiac big balls". He suffers from  Tourette's syndrome. Which tends to be a problem most of the time. When we were little I actually thought that my full name was Eunice, bitch, slut, rot-crotch. How was I supposed to know? Abner was once a traveling salesman. He sold feminine hygiene products door to door and sold homemade chocolate on the side. He ate most of the inventory. He always did like to chew on his dirty cotton underwear. He became a little obsessed with the absorbent material that soaked up his  drool from chewing on the feminine napkins. He now has a little hobby. He's a uber driver for the bingo club on Wednesday's. But I never pay him. He's a sucky driver.

Their mother was a beautiful half-breed. She was part Wookie and part Sasquatch. She was larger than my brother because Sasquatch tend to be slightly more endowed, I mean taller.

Unfortunately we lost her in a snowball fight that got out of hand 3 years ago. I guess sticking a half stick of dynamite in the snowball so it would splatter all over her was a very bad idea. We never did find her bottom jaw, left ear, 3 toes and a nipple ring Abner got for their 20th anniversary. He's such a cheap skate.

Abner has 2 sets of twins.

The oldest by 3 minutes is Hank aka Horney Hank. He's a computer geek and has a foot fetish. He also is an award-winning porn watcher. 5 year champion. We are so proud.

Oliver...all over her...get it?!? Aka Ollie. He is Hank's twin brother. He's the bread-winner of the family. He completely supports all of us. Ollie is the best damn gigolo you'd ever want to meet. (He gives a discount if you use his dad's uber service.) Oliver has some very well-known clients that just happen to be...oops, not allowed to say.

Then we have Abner's other twin sons Otis and Linus. They were born conjoined at the penis. Unfortunately Linus aka Lucky Linus got the better deal from the surgery. Let's just say that he's literally hung like a horse. Too bad he's not a very good driver. He recently had his truck booted for unpaid parking tickets. He's trying to make some extra money by prostituting himself at the local truck stop. But that's really not going very well because you see he's so large that women scream in fear when they see his member. So he's now trying to convince Ollie to pay for a penis reduction so he can finally lose his virginity. Poor boy. He's so screwed up that he's been wearing women's super extra large underwear because they help hold his package in better. Did I forget to mention that he's also bisexual?

Then we have Otis aka Mr. GRUMPY. Linus twin brother separated at birth. He's been grumpy since the day after the separation surgery. 7 inches isn't that awful for a Wookie. But it's definitely not average. Then a year ago he had a very bad car accident with his date for the evening. They were having sex while driving and hit a utility pole. That broke Grumpys penis. He had to have 5 inches removed because it was starting to rot. Now poor Otis has a 2 inch penis and is grumpier than ever. He also pees when he sneezes. Did I mention that he also has a hair lip?

Tomorrow I'll tell you all about my children.

To be continued ...

Triplets 

Pixie Poo

Kandi Cane

 Kinky Trixie

Beefcake Angus 

Spike aka splinter (because he is sexually attracted to trees) 

Otis aka Mr. Grumpy is the twin brother of Linus.

Abner, Rocky- Rock hard brainiac big balls 

Horney Hank, is twins with 
Oliver...all over her...get it?!?! 

Lucky Linus. Was born siamese twins and attached at the penis with Otis aka Mr. Grumpy 

Egbert and Eunice